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Play Scenes
ACT I/ SCENE 4: 'A Record in a Record in a Record'
FX: Morning Sounds
Lights
Valerie and Josef are playing with table tennis balls. In turn, they put them in their mouths and see how far they can propel them. Eventually...
FX: Morning Sounds
Lights
Valerie and Josef are playing with table tennis balls. In turn, they put them in their mouths and see how far they can propel them. Eventually...
1/6
CIRCUS MINIMUS
JOSEF
Nice one, Val.
VALERIE
Twelve feet if an inch
JOSEF
Oh more, more
VALERIE
Beat that... if you dare.
JOSEF
I don't know, Val.
VALERIE
Beat that, Beat that, Beat that!
JOSEF
I can't top you, Val.
VALERIE
Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Go ahead, Josef. Please, please, please, go ahead.
JOSEF
Let me give it a go then.
VALERIE
Yes, Josef, you can do it... You can do it. No, wait, no, no. Stand up. Let me help you. Stand up. (She struggles to get him to his feet)
JOSEF
Easy with that
VALERIE
Come on. Yes, good, good. All right now you stand like this and... Give me your hand.
JOSEF
Aw
VALERIE
Give it to me!
(As he does so, she places his arms in an awkward position and then bends one of his legs akimbo.)
JOSEF
What you at?
VALERIE
There. Here. (She places a table tennis ball in his mouth.)
Now, just like that and... Go!
(She pushes him and he hops about the stage)
Ahhhh! Ahhh! Go ahead, Josef! Beat me, Beat me, Beat me!
Mr. and Mrs. Dumpling enter. Josef starts hopping around them.
MRS. DUMPLING
Have you done yourself an injury, Josef?
MR. DUMPLING
Your face is all swollen.
MRS. DUMPLING
Valerie, what's wrong with Josef?
MR. DUMPLING
He's foaming at the mouth.
MRS. DUMPLING
He certainly is!
(She chases after Josef attempting to wipe his mouth with her skirt.)
Poor Josef!
MR. DUMPLING
Careful, Mother. He may be catching.
MRS. DUMPLING
(As she continues to chase after Josef)
Josef, Josef... Let me see... Be still, Josef, be still!