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Play Scenes
ACT I/ SCENE 4: 'A Record in a Record in a Record'


FX:
Morning Sounds

Lights

Valerie
and Josef are playing with table tennis balls. In turn, they put them in their mouths and see how far they can propel them. Eventually...



1/6
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CIRCUS MINIMUS

JOSEF

Nice one, Val.

VALERIE

Twelve feet if an inch

JOSEF

Oh more, more

VALERIE

Beat that... if you dare.

JOSEF

I don't know, Val.

VALERIE

Beat that, Beat that, Beat that!

JOSEF

I can't top you, Val.

VALERIE

Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Go ahead, Josef. Please, please, please, go ahead.

JOSEF

Let me give it a go then.
VALERIE

Yes, Josef, you can do it... You can do it. No, wait, no, no. Stand up. Let me help you. Stand up. (She struggles to get him to his feet)

JOSEF

Easy with that

VALERIE

Come on. Yes, good, good. All right now you stand like this and... Give me your hand.

JOSEF

Aw

VALERIE

Give it to me!
(As he does so, she places his arms in an awkward position and then bends one of his legs akimbo.)

JOSEF

What you at?

VALERIE

There. Here. (She places a table tennis ball in his mouth.)
Now, just like that and... Go!
(She pushes him and he hops about the stage)
Ahhhh! Ahhh! Go ahead, Josef! Beat me, Beat me, Beat me!


Mr. and Mrs. Dumpling enter. Josef starts hopping around them.


MRS. DUMPLING

Have you done yourself an injury, Josef?

MR. DUMPLING

Your face is all swollen.

MRS. DUMPLING

Valerie, what's wrong with Josef?

MR. DUMPLING

He's foaming at the mouth.

MRS. DUMPLING

He certainly is!
(She chases after Josef attempting to wipe his mouth with her skirt.)
Poor Josef!

MR. DUMPLING

Careful, Mother. He may be catching.

MRS. DUMPLING

(As she continues to chase after Josef)
Josef, Josef... Let me see... Be still, Josef, be still!